She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
