you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
