This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
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Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
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I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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