i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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