remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
