I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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