allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
