I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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