This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
