I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
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I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize