That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
