i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
