i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
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You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
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Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I party with great urgency now.
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