it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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