it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
