I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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