i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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