he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
