she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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