i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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