he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
