M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
