I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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