Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
