What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
