Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize