Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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