then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Never underestimate the power of titties
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