Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
