I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize