I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
