I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize