Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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