i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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