this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
