Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
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We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
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Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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