the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
