win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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