My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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