So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
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i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
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You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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