We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize