Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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