Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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