Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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