thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize