I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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