I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
