so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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