tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
