belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
