why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Someone shattered a urinal.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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