East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
