You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize