I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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