her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
My life is pants optional.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
