I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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