I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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