you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
