Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
