; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
