I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
