remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
